Human War. Amusing.

Hello again my readers. So glad to have you back. Before I dive into my topic of discovery, I would like to point out to you all that I had my first meal here on Earth this past week. Unlike humans, my kind does not require sustenance or water frequently; while Earth dwellers eat from two to four meals per day, we have one large meal every 2-3 Earth weeks. I had eaten quite richly before departing my planet, but as my time here continued my hunger pangs slowly grew until I had to take action. Now, I will admit that these humans are far more sophisticated than us when it comes to food. These concepts of cooking, silverware, and food presentation that I’ve been observing are all mind boggling to me. From where I come from, we do not engage in these trivial activities. No, No. We Hunt. And so, that is precisely what I set out to do. Upon roaming the countryside of what I believe is known as Sweden, I stumbled upon a delectable group of peculiar creatures. They were large and ranged in different shades of brown and black, and traveled on four lanky legs. Upon their heads sat pairs of magnificent antlers, which to my delight served as perfect tooth cleaners upon the completion of my meal. Through research, I learned that the name of my delightful feast was moose. Such flavor, such texture! I wish for my entire clan to get their claws on moose for themselves; nothing on my world comes close to the luscious eat they provide. I cannot wait till my next meal here; I can only imagine what odd Earth creature I will find for myself next…

Now, for my main point of discovery: I have witnessed human warfare for the first time. I will say I am disappointed however; there appears to be far more yapping than there are battles. Somewhere along my travels, I was able to learn again through these human news channels (Bless them for these networks. They make my life so much easier) that the clans known as the “United States of America” and “Iran” were at conflict. Apparently, this clash stemmed from the killing of an “Iran” member by the “United States of America”, and was escalated when the “Iran” clan sent a mobile attack toward members of the “United States of America” clan, injuring many of them. This technology fascinated me. To attack one while not being the one to physically attack them? What a concept! While the damage and havoc my kind can wreak with their own physical abilities are great, to be able to bring such mass destruction to one from afar is… something to think about. While its innovation is impressive, I worry that it is part of a road I do not wish my people to take. Such potential for inflicting carnage in the grasps of my war crazed planet; nobody would ever be safe. Back to the point however. Yes, upon my learning of this conflict, I trembled with excited. Finally, it was time to see how these humans could rumble! I was eager to see how they dealt their damage. My hopes were dashed, however. If such attacks were carried out at my home, the two clans involved would be at each others throats by now – perhaps one would have already been standing triumphant by now. But here, it appears they do not move as fast as we do. No, instead there is simply one human or another representing each clan speaking, spewing bravado and updates on their own troops, and how the other clan is inferior, or obsolete, or not a threat. A strange orange man, who appears to be of some importance to the “United States of America” come out to these news channels, and reported that the clan of “Iran” had put forth a sorry attack, and that the troops of the “United States of America” affected were simply nursing simple headaches. What a funny little person. He appears so pompous and grand, with statements of courage and support of his clan and troops; he doesn’t seem like he’s ever been close to combat or struggle his entire existence.

While I was not able to witness any razing, I can takeaway some key points. Perhaps this postponing, this period of time where humans simply talk and front and mediate is not as useless as I saw it at first. Perhaps it lets tensions diffuse, or simply let clans assess how willing they are to go forth into battle. It is a way of going about war that I do not know if my planet would be too accepting towards; but it is my job to at least put it forth.

Until next time my friends.